Shattering Shards
by aznImperfection
Summary: AU. It wasn't worth it. This pain slowly consumed me, I cannot take it anymore. I miss too much, yearn too much, and wish too much. All wanted it back—all of it. My past, friends, and him. I, Haruno Sakura, will do anything for my old life.


**Disclaimer: I Don't Own Naruto.**

* * *

**Summary**: Even though her eyes don't cry doesn't mean her heart is. Just 'cause she comes off strong doesn't mean nothing is wrong. How could know one see that?

****

* * *

Just wake up,  
and simple know  
no one is home.

.

.

Get up,  
go to school  
and he's not waiting  
for you.

.

Walk up,  
those steps  
and _they_ are waiting.

.

.

Look up,  
at the window.  
And know your  
not who you  
once were.

.

_"Oh kami-sama..."_

_-_

_-_

_"How can they not see;  
How much it hurts..."_

_-_

_"Kami-sama please...  
find someone for me,  
who can see  
and maybe..."_

_._

_"...Just maybe..."  
._

_"Save me..."_

-

-

**Shattering Shards**

Chapter One: Saved?

* * *

Ring, ring goes the phone. Ring, ring goes the door bell. Ring, ring goes the clock.

And I...

I wake up, once again.

To another day, that reminds me of so much. That tells me I have come so far now. Just a little more and I'll be done, yes? No. Never, because nothing can mend these wounds that cannot be seen. The little scratches (I call some of the marks on me that you can see) don't compare to the one you cannot see nor mend. Can you see it? Can you feel it? Can you mend it? Is it possible?

The people in my life slowly slash me and break me. I am not a flower to what my name is. I cannot be delicate. To those who know me, I am tough and strong; no one can break me before I break them... I will not let it happen, no never. I refuse to feel the pain once again. No one can help me because I know no one knows. Not even my best friend who I tell everything to.

.

.

_"Kami-sama, one day please let them both be home.  
And if they are, don't let them fight over stupid things.  
Let us be happy like any other family I see..._

_"Arigato, if you do..."_

_._

_._

When I wake up on school days I know they aren't home. If they are, they'll be yelling. Yelling about money and other reasons. Mainly money. They say we don't have enough and some of the reason is because I came. If they didn't have me they would still have enough cash. They wouldn't have to pay for my collage fund (when I will use it in a few more years) my schooling, my cloths, my food or anything else their little blossom needs.

Why did they name me after something so sweet even though they don't care for me?

I believe my mom wanted me for the first weeks I was born but they she finally realized how much work I was. I cried "a lot" supposedly and I was hungry _all the time. _So what was the solution?

I learned how to take care of myself at an early age. Cooking, dressing, and all that.

Parents are never satisfied with my grades. I bring home a B and they ask, "Why isn't it an A?" I bring home an A and they tell me to keep my grades A's. I come home from the library and they complain I didn't tell them where I was and I was late._ As if they cared..._

Why stay home? Get out while you can... wait you can't. Why? I have no where to go and no one will take me or meet me at my destination.

.

.

When I walk out of the house. I run and run and run. I run across the lawn, across the street and across the road. I run away from a problem, a living hell and I must always come back to it. And I run to another place that holds me prisoner and I am forced to stay for what it seems a long time. I love school sometimes but some of the people... they cause problems.

When I run to the front and stop my bag is hanging off my shoulder and my uniform is somewhat messy. I don't care. Show up early as usual but when I do... I see him and his friends. They all know me but they don't feel like talking to me. And he does not— wait no he never does seem to care to talk to me anymore.

He's dark orbs are cold as ever when they see me. His jet black hair is done so nicely... I bet his mommy got him the nice type of stuff to make it shine because she **loves **him. I don't know love and I never will experience it anytime soon. His uniform is in that "cool" look, his tie is loosened up and the first two or three buttons are open... just like his friends.

If they only knew, what he and I once had... friendship.

**xXx**

_"Come on the swings with me." His little seven year old voice tells me. I can only smile and nod. He started talking to me back when I first moved here, he was my first friend and soon when we got older my first ex-friend._

_He lens me forward and tells me to sit on the swing and he'll push. I go up high and I feel like I can reach the sky. "Higher Crow! Higher!" I call him by his nickname, he seemed like a crow when we were small. With his dark hair and eyes._

_"How? Your too fat!" He teases me and I want to push him to the ground._

_"Be quite, I am not fat like you are," I giggled and he pushes me so hard I reach the highest he has ever put me in. I felt like I could catch a cloud and lay on it then face the sun. My dream was to be part of the sky or be in it for once. When I get off I smile big._

_"Take me higher like that again, Crow." I tell him. He nods and then touches my pink hair._

_"I promise you, Blossom," He told me and patted my head. "I promise you I will."_

_"Sasuke-chan time to go home!" His mother calls at the end of the park he nods and tells me good bye. I smile and walk home... alone and wondering if I could touch the sky one day._

**xXx**

He never got me to go that high ever again. He could never keep that promise because he barely went to the park to meet me after that. He stopped talking to me when we reached seventh grade. The only time I felt like we were going to last as friends again was in sixth grade and that was because of Ino Yamanaka and Naruto Uzumaki. It was the four of us all the time back then. The one problem was that Ino and I ended up like him but I soon gave up on him after I realized the truth. There was no point because he would never like me back.

He doesn't wait up for me anymore. And his friends are cold other than Kiba Inuzuka and Naruto. Both were loud and class clowns. They were not the sharpest knives in the drawer but they were smart if the wanted to be. Naruto lost his mom when he was young but he had a father that cared. Kiba barely saw his father but had both a mother and sister. They were lucky they had one parent gone but someone else who cared. I have two parents and both alive but neither of them cared.

When I walk to the doors Naruto calls out a "Hi Sakura-chan!" and Sasuke hits him on the head saying he was loud. Kiba isn't with them must not be early. Good, I don't have time for someone perverted like him annoying me.

I give him a nod and walk up the steps. I have time to kill... and I can walk to the roof top and look at the sky. I don't smile as much when I look at it anymore.

I never walk to school because I'll be forced to miss the roof top and see _them_. Those girls I call friends. Sadly I do love them but sometimes... I can't help but wonder did I chose the right people? Way before I because "popular" I had real friends. Friends at this neighborhood that I soon let go slowly because I couldn't handle being out of the loop. Except now I want to leave but there is no way out. I am forced to be with my mistake all the time. And another reason why I went popular... because I thought maybe he and some others would see me for me again... they didn't.

.

.

It's me and the wind, nothing else. How peaceful it was and how calm it was. I lay down on my back on one of the shaded areas on the roof. My bag falls to the ground and I close my eyes. The wind tells a story and whispers you the tale. If someone speaks the tale is ruin and when they stop talking you are lost and do not know what is happening now.

Sadly a lot of people have talked in my life so I am now very, very lost in both the story and life. I can not go back in time and try to find silence so I can catch up. I sigh and the breeze comes by my breath is even but I can't sleep no I can't. I am on cloud nine no one can ruin this for me they just can't I am at peace and this is one of my heavens in the world. I only have a few compared to my demons and hells. No angles are found in my heavens... they never seem to show.

I turn so I lay on my side and my hand touches something. I open my eyes and blink. It's a piece of folder paper. Who would leave it? Who knows... out of curiosity I open it and began to read.

**What are the reasons you come here?**

I re-read the line twice and three times. Then the wind blows... I got up from my laying postion and grabbed my bag. I unzipped it and got out my pencil case, I took out a lead pencil and put the top eraser before writing down my answer.

_Because it's of the sky and to get away from the world. And you?_

I refolded it and placed it down back were I found it. Just like magic the bell rang. I have to go back down to another prison, where I'll meet my _friends. _I can't come here until later during lunch but then I would run to the library or something like that. When I want to leave someone brings me back in somehow.

.

.

_"Kami-sama one of these days,  
instead of seeing them and having them talk to me  
can it the others? The people I once knew...  
I want to go back... or at least...  
let them be some kind of friend again..._

_"Gomen, I am asking for too much."_

.

.

My lab partner is Neji Huyga and he is very... interesting. One of the populars and very famous with the girls. Ami goes on and on about him, why are we friends? Wait never mind were cousins but I wonder why I like her as a friend more than a cousin. Maybe it's because it's easier to think of her as a friend, I rather not think were related sometimes.

"Hi Neji," I say his name and sit beside him at the lab tab. He nods and continues writing. I don't look over his shoulder but instead I look out the window. Class hasn't started and I am somewhat early. The sky is still clear and there is a tree out the window, how convenient. I stare not only at the bark and leaves but everything behind it: the street, birds and other stuff.

"Hey Haruno." I turn my head and look at Neji face to face.

"Hm?"

"What's so special about the window?" I stare at him confused and look back at it then him.

"What do you mean," I ask. I turn my head to the side and the stared at his pearl eyes. They are like snow but show no winter wonder land. He is cold, just like his eyes, why does he talk to me any ways?

"You stare at it everyday," He explains. I stare at his hair, it's probably longer than how my hair used to be. When I cut it short he's hair grew longer. "So what's so amazing about it that you have to look everyday?"

I stare at his face and then to the desk. I wonder.... he doesn't know. He thinks I think the sky is special and that's why I stare. Well it is special and in its own way. Does he know what it is? "I have my reasons." _What do you think though? _I silently add to myself. I can't say it out loud because I don't want him or anyone else to hear.

"Aa." He says it like so many other boys do at school. It's like their special language that everyone has cracked, its called: EMO LANGUAGE, and it was stared by Sasuke Uchiha, the emo boy himself. "Interesting..." He mumbles and looks up because the bell rings. Can you say, saved by the bell?

.

.

"He's so fine," Ino sighs watching Sai leaving the classroom with THE boys. The elite group of boys that not many are apart but him and the rest off his friends. I was suppose to be destine to like one of them because I was an "IT" girl. I rolled my eyes and kept walking with Ino right behind.

All the girls liked atleast one of them. Well the ones in my year. There were many "IT" girls in all four years of high school, I was just one of them. Same went for the boys as well. Out of all the girls I never really cried or let go of my guard, Konan was the other girl who did do this and she (unlike me) had a boyfriend.

Ino liked Sai and most girls were right behind her when it came to praising him. Karin and many others loved Sasuke. Matsuri was head over heels for Gaara, he wasn't that bad. Ami to Neji Huyga and then some. Naruto and Kiba shared a fan club with the twins, Kimi and Koi, leading the pack. Zaku was on-again-off-again with Kin, lucky girl (at least she has a man). Tayuya wouldn't admit it but she liked Shikamaru Nara no matter what she would say. And so on and so on.

I was the only girl who didn't show who I liked. I passed the group of boys and they only spared me a few looks. I rolled my eyes. Ino waves shyly at Sai who gives her a smile, a fake smile. I keep walking and I know I don't need this. These boys are annoying and some what fake, they lie about so much and think they rule the school. I am above this above this. Then again why am I part of this group? I chose too along time ago and I can't go back...

I want to leave the IT crowd, because it's too crowded.

Can some one save me from this group?

.

.

I walk into a heaven, a place I call the school library. None the less it's a library and its perfect. If I could I would stay here for a whole day, sleep on one of the couches they have in here and sleep with a book in my lap. With vending machines, a view of the outside world, its beautiful from here you can just stare and dream. There are rows of books every wheres and tables with books still on them.

I grab a book from the fiction section and look for a place to sit. I go to a corner in the library where the window is there but one book shelf hits a the counter near the window and another hitting a wall but there is enough room for a table and a chalk board with messages. I smile and sit down, its a quite library just how I like it.

I open the book and enter a world of peace, true bliss.

"Can I sit down." I look up and see a red head with green eyes. I smile and nod. He sits down and does his work. I know who he is, everyone does and I also know what others don't, he won't bother me if I don't bother him. It's quite and all you can hear is my breathing and his pen writing.

I take out a bag of chips and open it. I look at him and his head is down focus on the paper, his pen writing and his head only moving a few time to look at the book in front of him. "Want some," I say pushing the bag a little foward. He looks up with hard eyes but he nods anyways. We share the bag but we stay the way we once were before.

This is close to silence, it's fine with me. I sigh and my mind wanders again. Can it stay like this for awhile?

.

.

**So much going around in life you need an escape. Why not the a place like this and others like it right, you know?**

_Yeah I know. Who are you?_

**Call me Lynx.**

_Like the cat huh?_

**Yeah like the cat. What are you think of right now?**

_Maybe I am saved or something?_

**From what?**

_...I don't know actually._

_._

_._

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A/N: Thank you for reading. This came to my mind and it just BAM! hit me! Sorry everyone for I haven't updated. Maybe a new story is in order? A lot has been happening lately so I just couldn't find the time till now. GOMEN! Well the CST (California Standards Test) is over and I am still praying that I did well. A few problems here but hopefully it wont stop me.

I have good news! I am going to the **Philippines **this summer! Yes! So to all you filipinos out there who are in/might be going to the philippines I might see you. I'll be in Manilla the most and the Province for a while, so which me luck! haha I am getting back to my roots again. After so many years of waiting I get to go back! : D

sry but this might mean you'll guys have to wait again... gomen gomen gomen. Please be patience! And too all of you who are I thank you.

The fallow as usual: **R&R! Flamers accepted. **_Ja-Ne!_


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